Hi. I’m David,
ex-psychotherapist turned mindset coach assisting gay men with the unique challenges of being gay.
*coming out
*relationships and sex
*midlife crisis
*growing older
*reclaiming spirituality
Like many of you, I was born into a world in the 60s where being gay was considered a mental disorder, and a disgrace. Men snuck around in shame, fearful of being caught. We had no mentorship or role models. We were bullied for being sissies, and often pioneering being gay alone.
I knew I was different from a very young age and quickly learned to adapt in order to get love and acceptance. I created masks, and learned to pretend in order to survive. I dimmed my sensitivity and tried to be like the other boys. As a Catholic kid, I believed being gay was a mortal sin and I was going to hell. Even God had rejected me and I was terrified that no-one would love me if they knew my secret.
My mother understood when I told her I was gay and leaving Catholicism at twenty-one. I then went into a spiritual abyss in my twenties and thirties, dabbling in new practices, and theology, wanting to find a deeper connection. I became a wellness coach, then a psychotherapist in my early thirties, always incredibly curious about the nature of. mind and spirit.
Prompted by a midlife/existential crisis in my early forties, I made it a mission to get unstuck. I knew I was authentically showing up in my life. Days were becoming a blur. I was living on auto pilot. There had to me more to life. I read self-help books, became a yogi, meditated, went to workshops, followed gurus, worked with shamans and healers, and the fog started to clear.
I understand.
But something was still missing.
During an intensive spiritual retreat in India, I had a life changing cathartic moment. I began to realize that shame was negatively filtering the lens of my perspective keeping me feeling unworthy, and undeserving of love and success.
It took me years to realize that all the negative messages I received about being gay growing up in the small town had huge impact on my self-worth. Shame insidiously dominated my life subconsciously holding me back. Two steps forward and two steps back.
I had no idea. Even with my 30 years experience as a wellness coach, and psychotherapist, I was completely blind-sighted by my shame. I had been living an unauthentic life and am now on the never-ending journey to realness. This experience has been the impetus for the coaching work I do with gay men today.
It is my passion to assist others in awakening from the shame that holds us back from living our greater purpose, and authenticity.